Monday, 18 March 2013

My thoughts on secondary victimisation

Secondary victimisation.

 I think that there are many different reasons why 'people don't want to talk about sexual abuse. For one it is still considered 'taboo'' You can talk about being mugged,being robbed, being physically attacked..and you receive sympathy.
But..God forbid you want to talk about rape,sex trafficking or child abuse..then it's ...'Tumble weed' silence..and a quick change of subject matter. I also think that there is (especially within the judicial system, owing to the lenient punishment) that there is a mindset that 'some men just 'can't help themselves' I read many cases where paedophiles have thousands of child pornographic images and videos, and the judge has given credit for their 'honesty' and 'guilty plea' and have let them go free 'because their business had suffered or they were an upstanding member of the community! Yet child pornography only exists because of the 'Demand' of paedophiles!
Others like to think that the world is intrinsically fair, that 'humanity can't inflict this much suffering onto others' Then you get victim blaming. 'Oh she must be lying to get attention' Oh she must of been promiscuous or teasing the poor man,drunk and not wearing much' Oh she must of provoked him, he lost it and hit her' and if it's defenceless children or old women..they would rather not read or think about it. Secondary victimisation is just as painful as the abuse itself. In the media, you only really see 'celebrity' or 'prominent high profile perpetrators' sometimes running for weeks.
This is good in spreading awareness, but they are only really exposing them to sell newspapers etc..
What about the millions of us who were sexually abused as children,repeatedly raped or trafficked into porn and prostitution?
I think that the survivors who speak out, are incredible heroes, we, it seems are the prominent ones who are spreading awareness and letting everyone know that we are not silent defects,we are here to expose the truths of abuse, connect and help our brothers and sisters, who share this universal emotional pain,anger and trauma. And to expose our perpetrators to the world... by putting them in that dark,desolate place where they left us. I will never recover from the emotional pain, I can only manage it, and I do that by helping other survivors, that is my antidote.

Silence empowers perpetrators and impairs victims...and that..needs to change!

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